We recently lost a friend to suicide.
Our best friend, Megan, and us, actually made this scale together years ago. We have used it to help each other through the toughest times.
When it was really bad, we could just look at each other and say “What number?” and we always knew what the other one meant. We also knew exactly what the number meant when we gave each other one. If the number was too high, we made plans for that evening, so we wouldn’t be alone.
This scale got us all through a lot. It got Megan through a massive depressive spell, and it got us through discovering we have Dissociative Identity Disorder.
But it was just something between us, between Emmengard and Megan. We were too embarrassed and maybe even ashamed to really talk about it, because talking about it meant admitting that suicide is a thing we struggle with. The stigma of it all just felt too great. We weren’t out about our DID either.
Now that we lost Kevin, that just doesn’t seem to matter anymore. I wish we had made this earlier. I wish we had shared it with all of our friends, because then maybe Kevin would have known he was not alone. Maybe it could have all ended differently.
We are sharing this now, because we hoping that this could help other people. Maybe it could start a conversation. Maybe it could give friends, like Megan and us, a tool for really talking about this honestly.
Maybe it can help things turn out differently for someone else.
We miss you Kevin.
-All of Emmengard
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If you want to purchase a poster of the suicide scale, you can buy one on our Redbubble account:
EDIT: Added a scroll version of the scale for people viewing on a mobile device.
EDIT EDIT: Further Versions of the Suicide Scale:
Spanish:
Horizontal Scroll Version:
thank you for doing this
I’m so sorry about Kevin, it’s heartbreaking. This scale is very well designed. we spend a lot of time at #8 and I will save a pic of this to our phone as a reference for the future, it would probably be much easier to mutter a number to a friend than use the words “we’re suicidal”.
Thank you for sharing.
Xx Kate
Panel 9 has a spelling mistake in the second line. Thank you for releasing the panel btw, finna need it
We fixed the typo. Thank you 🙂
Emmengard,
I am a suicide loss survivor, but I still have no idea what to first say to other fellow lost survivors initially after their loss, other than, “I know what you are going through.” Words have meaning, yet no sense because of the shock and grief and many different feelings. I lost my adult son to suicide a year ago. I too wish someone would have made a pact with him, for him to know he was not alone and a way to honestly talk about their struggles and suicidal thoughts. It is too late for my son and your friend Kevin, but maybe are talking about it will save a life. I find connecting with others who share their real story is helpful. Your writing and art were meaningful to me. I have written about my loss journey and my son. I am sharing it back to you, or anyone else who may be reading this that needs a connection. https://lifewithoutmychild.com
Thank you for sharing this. I really deeply appreciate this. I don’t really know what to say either. I wish I had more words. -Elowen
This ‘numbers’ idea is really amazing, thank you so much for sharing. It’s so important and this could help so many people. I feel for your loss, I lost a friend to suicide a couple of years ago and it’s wildly difficult to deal with. Try your hardest to stay strong and band together with others that might be struggling <3 Which is exactly what this article/number system does.
This is amazing. Thank you. (Just FYI, there’s a small typo in #4. “attempy”)
Thank you. WE will change it in a bit.
im at 8 at the very least
Please, reach out to someone who can help.
Here is a list of suicide hotlines by country:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines
I have a suicidal friend who pointed me out to this page and I can’t even start explaining how thankful I am for this. I’ve been searching for simple scales to help him recoginze at what state he is but all of them are over complicated and stress inducing to the max. Just trying to figure them out would’ve made him even more suicidal, but waking up and having him showing me this panel and telling me “Latley I’ve been around 4-6” (after a situation where he obviously went to panel 9) gave me and him such a relief. Now we know where he’s at and we might go downscale to let that entire ordeal go. And I have you to thank for it. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you Emmengard. To all of you.
This is wonderful to hear. Thank you so much for sharing. I lack the words to adequately express what this means to us. Thank you.
Traducido al español:
Translated to Spanish:
https://i.imgur.com/vQG38Lp.jpg
This is amazing!!! Thank you!
This is great!
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I’m һaving a tough time mɑking а decіsion between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and
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P.S Sorгｙ fⲟr gettinjg off-topіc but I had to ask!
That’s okay. No need to apologize. We use wordpress. It is very versatile. It is really widely used, so there are a lot of tutorials. We edited the theme a lot, the banner is actually one of our own paintings. Pretty much every piece of art and graphic on here is something we did. Click around. The entire website is just us. It is sort of divided primarily between paintings and comics, with the blog, homepage and about-us in between. Take care.
I just found y’all’s beautiful scale on The Mighty tonight. I immediately came here & just had to leave my little digital ink-mark comment in the visitor book of sorts. I suffer from MDD, GAD, & CPTSD. I just took a job a month ago tomorrow and I had my first breakdown today (not even 3 full weeks on the floor) and have no clue how I’m going to function…and enter on cue your awesome soulful visual gauge. I am so saddened to read about y’all’s losses. Large warm Texas healing hugs!
Thank you <3. I wish you all the best with your job and everything generally. Breakdowns are really challenging to deal with, and cpstd is a bear. We have that one too. Take care of yourself. Hugs!
This graphic is just amazing. It is so helpful to me in my line of work. I meet people through my job often in various states of suicidal thoughts. Thank you so much for getting your thoughts out, and going through with posting this, I will spread this awareness to the many people around me.
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Thank you so much! I’m going to share this with a friend and hopefully even if she only tells me what number she’s at, I’ll be able to help her! Just a query about number 6? The graphic reads “there are seats left! It’s Bearnardo!” Is that supposed to be ‘no seats left’? I might just be reading it wrong 😕
“There are going to be seats left. It’s Bearnado!” is meant to indicate that his friend is rushing him for no reason. I don’t know if you are familiar with the Shark-nado films, but one generally does not have to worry about finding a seat when you go to see those films. His friend replies “We don’t know that for sure,” showing his love for the campy film and conviction that, based on his own adoration of these Bear-nado films, that the theatre could be packed, which is a bit silly.